Last Night's Telly: 27/6/08 - The Office / Gok's Fashion Fix

The Office: An American Workplace, ITV2
Gok's Fashion Fix, Channel 4

THE continuing brilliance of the American remake of The Office is a lesson to know-it-alls everywhere. We all said it was bound to be terrible when the Yanks dared to redo the work of genius by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant and we smugly awaited a disaster of epic proportions – perhaps along the lines of the Comic Strip's spoof Miners' Strike movie starring Al Pacino as Arthur Scargill.

And now, almost 50 episodes later, those words have been thoroughly chewed, swallowed and digested; we're sorry, we're so sorry (as The Doctor would say).

To read the full review, click here:
The Scotsman.

Telly News: 26/6/08

The trailer for Joss Whedon's new online show, with Doogie Howser mugging for his life.

Timothy Olyphant joining the cast of Damages. I'm never sure if I like him or not - I loved Deadwood but he was only okay in it.

Upcoming US Hamlet-based drama Prince Of Motor City now also features Aidan Quinn and Rutger Hauer. Is it set in the Eighties or something?

Heroes will definitely be better next series, no honestly, please give us a chance,
pleads Tim Kring.

Interesting speech about racial diversity on British TV. I sort of see his point, although bringing the Ferreiras of Eastenders into it is daft - they were so dreary, who even knew they were meant to be of Goan descent? How did that come into the storylines at all anyway?

Next week's depressing five-night drama Criminal Justice is very accurate, says an ex-prisoner.

BBC run by ten-year-olds, says Hetty Wainthrop (Patricia Routledge). Funniest part of that: Teletext still does interviews?

Telly News: 25/6/08

The Performance Channel is closing down. Um ... have you ever watched it? Have you ever even had access to it (I've had, at various times, both cable, digital, Sky subscriptions and Freeview)? Did this channel, actually, even really exist? I wonder what the viewing figures were.

Tricia Helfer - who has been beyond excellent on Battlestar Galactica, transcending what could have been an obligatory eye-candy role - is in the cast of Inseparable, a new police psychiatrist drama on the US Fox Channel. The plot sounds as if "this has all happened before, it will all happen again" but Helfer can probably make something of it. Also in the report, for a minute I read that Michelle McManus was joining Law And Order ...

ITV are going to make ITV3 & 4 a bit more like BBC3, by the sounds of it.

A 'reality' show about Corey Haim and Corey Feldman shouldn't really be serious, yet ...

New BBC iPlayer launches today, bringing the radio Listen Again feature in. Haven't used it yet, but the rewind & fast forward elements for radio sound useful.

Last Night's Telly: 25/6/08 - Legend of the Crystal Skulls: Revealed / The Supersizers Go Regency

Legend of the Crystal Skulls: Revealed, Five
The Supersizers Go ... Regency, BBC2

The Indiana Jones movie currently running in cinemas is most probably the last one that will be made with Harrison Ford as the ageing adventurer. Yet if the franchise is revived in a few decades' time, I have the perfect title: Indiana Jones and the Ancient Wally Dugs of Destiny. For why not – according to Five's Revealed series, the noble wally dug has at least as much mystic significance as the crystal skulls which form the plot for his latest film.

This may not be news to anyone with a basic understanding of science, but out there in the world of spirit fairs, there are people solemnly avowing that these striking artefacts are actually space computers, given to the Mayans by aliens, via Atlantis.

To read the full review, click here:
The Scotsman.

Tonight's Telly: 24/6/08

The Supersizers Go ... Regency, BBC2 9pm
The last of this fun, if smug, series sees Giles Coren dress up as Mr Darcy and Sue Perkins as an Austen heroine, in order to stuff their faces with appropriate food of the era - which all looks pretty vile. Coren's protein-filled Prince Regent breakfast is particularly off-putting.

Legend Of The Crystal Skulls Revealed, Five 8pm
As pointed out on Peep Show recently, you can write off the rest of the supernatural mumbo-jumbo, but how could they possibly fake a crystal skull, eh? This programme doesn't agree.

Check back tomorrow for the full reviews.

Telly News: 24/6/08

The Apprentice runners-up seem to be doing well.

Alfre Woodard teams up with Christian Slater for a new drama.

Camp Rock, the new High School Musical, got nearly nine million teeny viewers, almost as many as HSM2.

Suicide comedy produced by George Clooney picked up by America's Showtime network.

Benidorm - it's like Duty Free, but with Johnny Vegas - is getting a third series.

Peculiar story in the Sun about new Jonathan Pryce comedy (pansy, seriously? Who even says that?).

Anne Archer - who always reminds me of Jeffrey Archer's fragrant wife - is to join the cast of new OC-style drama Privileged, formerly called Surviving The Filthy Rich (an even worse title).

I'm a bit late with this one, but I just heard: Todd Carty to return for Grange Hill's final episode. Yay! Can they possibly get Trisha and Michelle back too, or would that be pushing it?

Tonight's Telly: 23/6/08

Upstairs Downstairs Love, Channel 4 9pm
Kinky Victorian passion - previewed here.

Snog Marry Avoid?, BBC3 8.30pm
No, no, no - as any fule kno, the title of this game is Snog, Marry Or Kill. Anyway, despite the misleading name, this is not a panel show where comedians are invited to say which celebrities they fancy most, but yet another makeover show in which overdressed people are taught how to calm down their style. Big whoop.

Telly News: 23/6/08

Dirty Den Jr (Nigel Harman) is joining the cast of the dopey Hotel Babylon. Hmm - didn't he leave Eastenders because he wanted to do more 'serious' work?

LESS public service programming on ITV? Is that possible? Oh, of course it is.

Interesting analysis of daytime telly. As I am possibly the only freelancer in the world who does not turn the TV on during the day, except to watch preview DVDs and then turn it off again (too busy wasting time on the Internet), I'm out of the loop on the current quality of it. Any opinions?

Weirdly, when 24 returns, they will have skipped four years. While the format of the show means they couldn't exactly have Jack Bauer just so happen to have to stay up all day and night exactly once a year, having the series now span a period of 17 years (while having only been on for six so far) is strange. But I suppose having it set in 2017 will mean they can invent more enemies for him to fight.

More oddness, with a scheduling experiment for a new American "microseries".

The US brings back Blankety Blank, for some reason, but with a fairly credible cast of comedians.

Last Night's Telly: 23/6/08 - Tony Robinson's Crime And Punishment/How TV Changed Britain

Tony Robinson's Crime And Punishment, Channel 4, Sunday

How TV Changed Britain, Channel 4, Friday

Occasionally, anti-TV campaigners will solemnly point out that the average person will see however many thousand violent acts if they watch for a certain length of time (and doubtless just as many boring Big Brother 'scandals'), thus warping us all into sociopaths. But at least the violence is mostly fake: in the late-18th century, the average person could see, in their lifetime, some 1,200 people actually killed right in front of them at the hugely popular public executions.

That grisly fact was relayed by Tony Robinson in the last part of his Crime And Punishment series, which took the story of the development of the rule of British law up to the start of the system as we know it today. In the Georgian era, judges were "dishing out death sentences like there was no tomorrow" for almost all crimes, large and small.

To read the full review, click here:
The Scotsman.

This Week's Telly: 21/6/08

Empire - Thursday, Sky One, 10pm
Upstairs Downstairs Love - Monday, Channel 4, 9pm
Snowdon and Margaret: Inside a Royal Marriage - Wednesday, Channel 4, 9pm

There's little I enjoy more than a cheesy historical mini-series and Sky One – the channel which brought us big Irish-American lug Brian Dennehy playing Genghis Khan in Marco Polo – has succeeded again in bringing over another corny classic in Empire. It's a blatant attempt to cash in on the success of the series Rome, with added bits from the movie Gladiator, and I knew it was going to be a treat when the first five minutes was full of dialogue like this: "Marc Antony!" "Octavius?" "Noble Cicero – just read your latest." "Ah, wise Cassius." "Triumphant Caesar!" "Most excellent Senator Brutus." Fantastic! Not at all an awkward way to introduce characters, because as we all know, in Ye Olden Tymes people spoke differently, especially in ancient Latin, and were constantly reminding each other who they were.

They might as well have renamed them Pat, Jeff and Kevin, though, because Empire is to historical accuracy what Katie Price is to privacy.

To read the full review, click here:
The Scotsman.

Tonight's Telly: 20/6/08

Quincy Jones: The Many Lives Of Q, BBC4 9pm
Part two of the documentary about the legendary music producer reaches the Michael Jackson years.

Pushing Daisies, ITV2 8pm
The infamously "lost" second episode (ie the one ITV couldn't be bothered showing in the regular slot and was hoping that no one would notice was missing) is now being shown on ITV2, and their website, to shut - er, to please the fans. I didn't think it was a great episode but Kristen Chenowith sings a lovely version of Hopelessly Devoted To You in it, with added Digby action. Anyway, there's virtually nothing else on tonight if you're not following the football (believe me, next week is even more sparse).

Telly News: 20/6/08

The Guardian has a report on the Life On Mars (US) pilot which sounds pretty bad.

Awesome! The successor to the madly popular High School Musical franchise is called Camp Rock and it's like totally even cooler and stuff! And
Joe Jonas might be even dreamier than Zac Efron, you guys!

David Beckham to appear on Sesame Street. Insert your own obligatory "will be learning to read/count" joke here because I can't really be bothered.

TV is not a directors' medium, says noted director Peter Kosminsky. It's an interesting point: in mainstream film, writers are marginalised and directors are kings, but in TV the auteurs tend to be those who write, even if they are also showrunners (eg Joss Whedon, Russell T Davies). Is it possible to truly have the two as equal partners (if not the same person)?

BBC buy awful-sounding Japanese game show. Mind you, it doesn't sound as if it will be any worse than the unlamented Noel's House Party, does it?

Possible Robin Hood spoiler. Eh? How would that work?

New characters for Eureka, Dexter and Big Love.

The pseudo-reality show eats itself. This story is sort of incomprehensible. It's almost like a spoof, but a very surreal one. Vaguely famous people who have been on 'reality' shows compete to ... be on a reality show? Judged by other people who have been on reality shows? And people wonder why TV viewing figures are falling rapidly and Internet and games are taking over. Seriously, what do the people who come up with these pointless shows think about their lives?

Tonight's Telly: 19/6/08

Four Goes To The Dogs, BBC4 8pm
Three documentaries about dogs - buff buff hooray! The first is a repeat of the bizarre Can Dogs Smell Cancer? (apparently yes), then The Flapping Track is about greyhound racing, ending with a Storyville repeat The Wonderful World Of Dogs.

Boston Legal, Living 10pm
Fourth season finale, as Spader and Shatner compete to out-ham each other (good try Spader, but you'll never succeed) in a story where Alan and Denny represent feuding sides of a town which wants to secede from the USA.

Telly News: 19/6/08

New drama for ex-Coronation Street actor Suranne Jones. It's made by Red, who have produced some brilliant shows, so it could be pretty good.

ITV to remake Dharma And Greg and other US shows - BUT WHY? I'm not saying it never works, but wouldn't it be better to come up with some original ideas instead of this current transatlantic mania for remakes? Especially of Dharma And Greg, which was rubbish anyway. Whoo, jokes about hippies, how very now. Bloody Rupert Murdoch.

New characters for Smallville, which has pretty much got a cast of thousands by now, hasn't it?

Matthew Perry bouncing back from the demise of Studio 60 with a new (familiar sounding) show about a bitter talkshow host. He really is the young Kelsey Grammar, isn't he? Going by the producer, it could have a touch of Larry Sanders, too, which is always good.

Some girl got booted out of Big Brother by saying her 'gang' would get anyone who nominated her. Here's more info but honestly, do you care?

Further to the mention of Tim Russert yesterday, Mark Lawson wrote an admiring piece.

The BBC are adapting two recent plays for TV, with cast including Uma Thurman, Jonathan Pryce and Rhys Ifans: My Zinc Bed and A Number. It sounds as if these will be proper adaptations, not just films of the stage versions, and both sound pretty interesting.

Is it tragic of me to be VERY excited that Cesar Millan will appear (as himself) in Bones? Cesar is the Dog Whisperer who retrains troubled dogs, though usually it's the humans who need to be told how to assert their place as 'pack leader'. I can't tell you how often I find myself watching that show by 'accident' while having my tea. I don't care if his appearance is a stupid gimmick, I'm so there.

Last Night's Telly: 19/6/08 - Wife Swap USA/Tribal Wives

Wife Swap USA, Channel 4
Tribal Wives, BBC2

Much of what is presented as ‘reality’ TV is so obviously fake – even leaving aside the voting scandals and so on – that you hardly even register anymore how artificial it is. The housemates weeping at the departure of someone they’ve only known for days, the contestants begging that this is their dream, the obviously trumped up arguments and attention seeking – it’s become so standard that real emotion is almost shocking if it manages to emerge through the fug of contrivance.

Wife Swap USA is completely a product of this culture, with its shameless opening acknowledgement that it contains scenes “edited for entertainment purposes”, i.e. not actually true. Unlike the British version, which at least credits the audience with enough sense to understand the real-world clash of habits when the families swap rules, the American show adds unnecessary gimmicks. And those taking part are, of course, encouraged to be as extreme as possible.

Last night’s programme featured a nutty psychic who encouraged her socially awkward sons to tap dance and regress into past lives while her downtrodden husband painted her toenails. She swapped places with a doormat whose uncontrollable sons battered each other while her bullying husband ignored her to gamble online all night. Enough conflict there, but the heavy hand of the producers ensured that instead of compromise – since both families clearly needed to change – they were pushed into exaggerating their behaviour so that the geeky sons were forced to box and the macho husband made to tapdance, for “entertainment purposes”. Naturally, this entrenched all concerned and ended in the obligatory screaming match when the couples met up after the swap.

It was entertaining in a way, I suppose, but fairly pointless, because everything was made so cartoonish. And the untalented, hopelessly deluded poor son of the psychic woman was left to expose his terrible self-written song over the credits, thus made into a figure of fun.

But while it had a similar title, Tribal Wives on BBC2 was a completely different type of show. In fact, the ‘wife’ part was irrelevant, because this reality swap was a love story between a young woman without a mother and a mother without a daughter. The fact that one was an urban over-achiever, scurrying round to compensate for having been abandoned by her mum in childhood, while the other was a traditional Kuna woman living in a hut in the Panamanian jungle, was almost irrelevant too.

The description of this programme made me fear a sort of gap year search for meaning, with British women finding spiritual healing among native people’s supposedly ‘simpler’ lives (“Like, it’s sooo meaningful grinding corn for 18 hours a day, yah?”) before returning to their lattes and Blackberry. Certainly, Sass – a 34-year-old from Oxford – found the Kuna village a complete contrast to her normal life and they succeeded in calming her down from the hyperactive giggler who arrived to a more reflective person adopted as the honorary daughter of her host family.

But while their belief in the power of spirits and dreams was interesting, it was the sheer kindness and affection shown to her by new tribal ‘mother’ Ana Lida which shone out. By the end of the programme, it was clear that not only had Sass gained something from her month as a Kuna woman, but that her host had found something special too and was sincerely going to miss her goofy new ‘daughter’. The obvious love between them was touching and, for me, redeemed this from being just another TV experiment. Who’d have thought it? Something real on a reality programme.

This review also appears in today's Scotsman, but due to an error is not available at its website as usual - apologies

Tonight's Telly: 18/6/08

Neighbours, Five 1.45pm & 5.30pm
I know, I know, no one watches Neighbours anymore especially since it moved from BBC1. But just as a public service announcement, I'm letting you know that today's episode is the very, very, very last and final farewell to Harold Bishop. He will play his tuba on Ramsay Street no more, unless he comes back in a few years having had amnesia, but otherwise Harold is offski. The actor Ian Smith is apparently retiring to travel Australia in a camper van with his wife - which is pretty awesome, don't you think?

Tribal Wives, BBC2 9pm
Charlie Brooker slagged this off something rotten in his Guardian column on Saturday, but (for once) I don't agree: I found this programme about a young British woman going to live with the Kuna tribe of Panama to be genuinely moving. The Kuna, particularly her host family, are funny and caring, while visitor Sass is nice and tries hard to fit in. By the end I even had a wee tear in my eye at the bond between them, it's so lovely.

Check back tomorrow for the full review.

Telly News: 18/6/08

The first and no doubt only time I have ever thought "Oh, I wish I'd seen that edition of Loose Women yesterday". Just to have seen the looks on their faces ... but wait! Through the magic of YouTube, we can all watch Joan Rivers say a sweary word and four panicked presenters simultaneously apologise.

Another WTF Telly Moment: Mark Rylance gives the oddest, but most strangely brilliant, acceptance speech ever at the Broadway Tony Awards. Watch for the moment when it cuts to his co-star Mary McCormack (about 1min46sec) who just looks so baffled.

Not enough regional programmes on ITV, says the culture secretary Andy Burnham (who has been making a lot of speeches lately, for some reason). There's only one answer: more Taggart!

Apparently some people out there like Rory McGrath. He has a new TV show coming up. I'm sure those people, whoever they are, will be happy about this.

The K9 spin-off from Doctor Who is apparently still happening.

The death of veteran US TV news reporter Tim Russert apparently hit his peers hard, says this interesting article. I never saw his work, so can't give an opinion, but I've also read some less admiring articles about him, such as this one from a socialist perspective or this one from the liberal Huffington Post. Hmm. The coverage and debate raise interesting questions about how to balance eulogy and criticism, as well as about why our political news has become so obsessed with point-scoring. And I wonder who the British equivalent would be? David Frost, perhaps?

Telly News: 17/6/08

William Hurt is to join Glenn Close & co. in Damages.

The new series of Bones later this year will start with a two-hour episode filmed in London. Oh dear - flashbacks to the Friends in London episodes and many cringeworthy scenes of American TV stars with red buses and Big Ben behind them, while guest British actors demean themselves for cash by playing stereotypes. Well, maybe it won't be that bad.

Peter James' Roy Grace crime novels, set in Brighton, are to be televised.

Is ER still on? Yes, I always forget too. Not only that, new people are joining the cast: Shiri Appleby, Julian Morris, Emily Rose and Victor Rasuk. The only one I recognise is Appleby, who was the simpering Liz in Roswell; her co-star in that show, Katherine Heigl, is of course already in another hospital drama, Grey's Anatomy (though probably not for long, given her complaints about the writers). Of the other young Roswell cast, Brendan Fehr went to CSI Miami, Emilie de Ravin got Lost and drippy alien love interest Jason Behr is in the next Oliver Stone movie. Not bad for what was really a pretty awful show to start on.

Regular telly psychiatrist and doler out of trite soundbites Dr Raj Persaud is fighting for his professional reputation after admitting plagiarism. I had the misfortune of interviewing Persaud two years ago and he was a really difficult customer, so I am mean-spiritedly enjoying this story.

Tonight's Telly: 17/6/08

Battlestar Galactica, Sky One 9pm
This has not been the best season of BSG, unfortunately, though it remains the most vital sci-fi show on TV, naturally. It could basically all have been combined into one or at most two episodes without losing anything. The Super Sekret Sylons Club (Keep OUT this means YOU) of Tyrol, Tigh, Tori and that boring guy married to Kara was interesting, Baltar's storyline was as usual fascinating, but everything else (Lee, Kara, Adama, Roslin) was fairly dull. However, they really pull out the stops for a thrilling final episode, the last five minutes of which are classic BSG with a great twist. Don't miss this one.

All About Eve, Film 4 11pm
Fasten your seatbelts for this bumpy ride of Bette Davis at her best, but with Anne Baxter beating her at her own game. A wonderful drama that is deservedly part of Film 4's 'Films to see before you die' season.

Last Night's Telly: 17/6/08 - My Child Won't Eat/Mary Queen Of Shops

My Child Won’t Eat, ITV
Mary, Queen Of Shops, BBC2

There’s nothing like a great late weekend breakfast: wotsits, chocolate fingers and chocolate squares. Mmm. That’s what Rachel had, but then that’s also what she had for lunch. Dinner, however, was a hot meal of cereal and melted chocolate. Surprisingly, the 12-year-old was not covered in spots, so My Child Won’t Eat was probably not a show to allow any crafty teenagers to watch, since they’d no doubt claim her reasonable health as a perfect excuse to scoff sweets all day.

But Rachel wasn’t just being greedy, it was clear, but suffering from an extreme food phobia, where the very thought of eating anything other than her excessively limited diet terrified her, even as she wanted to fit in with her pizza-scoffing friends.

As someone who can barely stand to be in the same room as pasta (it’s all rubbery and slimy and ... urgh), I felt for the poor girl. There have been a spate of programmes lately panicking about Our Fat Teens/Babies Who Can’t Hunt/Toddle but this one was less sensationalist and more sympathetic, showing the strange but apparently successful techniques of Dr Gillian Harris.

Controversially, she advocates basically leaving kids with such advanced food fear to anything they will eat, even if their idea of a balanced diet is propping a hula hoop under each end of a chocolate finger. Don’t keep trying to offer proper meals, don’t stress them out and don’t bribe them. “Once you’re into making carrots into funny shapes, you’ve lost the plot,” said Dr Harris, who was presumably never a fan of Cyril Fletcher on That’s Life.

This technique was particularly hard for the family of little Bobby, who screamed the place down if anything other than yoghurt or biscuits were brought near him. His parents were in despair, but Dr Harris’ method did seem to bring them some relief. Underlying it, though not spelled out explicitly, was the idea that the families of these children were unconsciously encouraging them to panic about food, by making it an area of conflict.

Another family featured had a boy of three and a half who was still surviving on bottles of milk and no solid food. But clearly it was his mother, still changing his nappies and getting up in the night for feeds, who had the problem, being unable to let her formerly ill baby grow up, an understandable protective reaction taken too far. Eventually she let go a bit and he started eating other things, while Rachel bravely forced down a bit of toast under Dr Harris’ supervision (I do think it would have helped to not burn it, mind you – most people would have done a bit of scraping on what she served up).

There wasn’t much context in this film, showing how these particular eating disorders fit into the wider picture of the way many of us are so divorced from real food, with the rise of artificial products barely resembling anything grown, and ready meals with fewer nutrients than their packets. But for not exploiting the children, as some of the other programmes about ‘freaky eaters’ have, it was much easier to swallow.

An odd revelation from the credits of Mary Queen Of Shops, which last night featured a stroppy man called Kelvin who sold naff deeley boppers in his boutique yet still claimed to know something about retail. The fashion expert Mary Portas, who clearly came to hate Kelvin’s guts (and was secretly making over his girlfriend into a foxy style queen to let her take over), has her on-screen outfits put together by a stylist. Er, isn’t that pretty redundant?


This review also appears in today's Scotsman, but due to an error is not available at its website as usual - apologies

Tonight's Telly: 16/6/08

Mary, Queen of Shops, Monday 9pm BBC2
The lady with the severe bob who sorts out bad shops takes on a really stroppy customer, who runs a terrible fashion boutique which crams in a random mix of nasty clothes, accessories and a bar. Mary knows how to make it better, but comes to be infuriated with his constant quibbling - it's quite amusing watching her lose her temper at him.

Dickens’ Secret Lover, Monday 9pm C4
Not exactly a secret, as anyone who has ever flicked through a biography of him knows, but here's an account of how the supposedly devoted family man dumped his wife for a young actress and, even in strict Victorian times, got away with it. Claire Tomalin wrote an excellent biography of Nelly Ternan (The Invisible Woman) if you want to know more afterwards.

Telly News: 16/6/08

Congratulations Sir Lord Russell T Davies OBE.

Monte Carlo Television Festival award winners. Some weird ones in there - I like Richard Ayoade a lot and seriously mourn that the brilliant Garth Marenghi's Darkplace never got a second series, but The I.T. Crowd was rubbish. And of all the actors to win for a drama, I would never have thought of Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Can't quibble with The Mark Of Cain or Taxi To The Dark Side though. And I'm sure that the 'Golden Nymph Award' sounds better in French.

Yucksome new show from Noel Edmonds announced - sounds like that thing he used to do on Christmas Day.

My second favourite physicist* Prof Brian Cox (also my second favourite person with that name, after the actor) has a great podcast where he explains particle theory and the upcoming Large Hadron Collider experiment at CERN, Geneva. This incredible experiment could, honestly, possibly end the world (they really don't know what will happen when the beams start colliding, around August) or at least transform understanding of matter. He has previously talked this all through with random celebs like John Barrowman and Kevin Eldon - the latest podcast, bizarrely yet brilliantly, features Chris Morris. There are no jokes - Morris is quite serious about finding out about the mass of the Higgs-Bosun particle, though he has a bit of trouble grasping the theory of no time passing at the speed of light. He also worries about them potentially throwing out the most useful data.
*No 1: Dr Brian Greene

To try to fix the US version of Life On Mars, they're moving it from LA to New York. Yes. This is a much better idea (Detroit or San Francisco would be even better). As David E Kelley (of Ally McBeal fame etc) is no longer directly involved with the production, there may also be a lot of recasting and rewriting.

Also in the US, Fox News yet again is classy as hell. What a lame defence; I'm clearly not that down with the kids, but "Obama's babymama" is not the same sort of thing as "my baby's daddy". They're obviously trying to imply something sleazy.

Article on last week's BBC report saying that news and programmes are too London-centric.

Tonight's Telly: 13/6/08

Quincy Jones: The Many Lives Of Q, BBC4 9pm
You know that he's a really famous producer. You know he produced Thriller. But you didn't know he also did Fly Me To The Moon, or It's My Party And I'll Cry If I Want To, did you? Fascinating portrait of the music legend. His daughter plays Karen in The Office (US), by the way.

Henry VIII, ITV3 10pm
Oi, Pope Clement - shuuuut it! Not much on tonight, so why not check out this repeat of Ray Winstone's massively macho take on 'Enery, from 2003. Not what you'd call a serious historical treatment, but Winstone is watchable as anything.

Telly News 13/6/08

Adrian Lester rejoining Hustle. I love Adrian Lester. Seriously - the very sight of his ears makes me go a bit funny (they are magnificently cute ears). When he sings and dances, as in Branagh's Love's Labours Lost, it's heaven. He's a good dramatic actor, as seen in Primary Colors. So the Pro is seeing him on screen more regularly, since he does not do NEARLY enough. The Con though is - well - Hustle is complete rubbish, really, isn't it? I mean, I like a silly adventure show as much as the next person, but it's not only utterly unbelievable, the programme's insistence that these are nice conmen, who only cheat nasty people out of lots of money (which they magically have spent by the next episode, thus requiring another heist) is ridiculous. It's like something from ATV. And the characters are all horribly, horribly smug, every week they swan off laughing hysterically at just how awesome they are at ripping people off. Without Lester and/or the also cute and talented Marc Warren, it would be absolutely nothing.
But will I watch? Well, yes.

Two very interesting reports on Culture Secretary Andy Burnham's statements yesterday about editorial controls & impartiality and product placement.

Katherine Heigl knocked her hit film Knocked Up for being sexist. Now she's gone and attacked the writers of her show Grey's Anatomy, for being so rubbish that she's too embarrassed to submit herself for another Emmy Award. Um - I admire her honesty, but next year's storyline for Izzy may well involve her falling down an elevator shaft, don't you think?

Not really TV but, er, they're trying to get it on TV ... any excuse to show John Cusack on the US elections.

Last Night's Telly: 13/6/08 - Come Dine With Me/My Name Is Earl

Come Dine With Me, Channel 4
My Name Is Earl, Channel 4

PEOPLE, I'm told, have dinner parties. Not people I hang out with, obviously, but somewhere – perhaps in your house, reader – people are eating three proper courses while chatting about property prices and the best local schools over terribly civilised wine poured from carafes.

It's not a world that I know much about, so I will have to take it on trust that this is a fun way to spend an evening and, therefore, that the premise of Come Dine With Me – four consecutive nights of dinner parties with the same group of strangers – is one that people sign up to voluntarily and are not assigned as some kind of punishment.

To read the full review, click here:
The Scotsman.

Telly News: 12/6/08

The Apprentice final drew nearly 9 million viewers, its highest ever rating.
For some reason, Gordon Brown is involved.

I couldn't really care less about Big Brother, but I suppose should note that Ofcom have received complaints about bullying again. Sigh.

There will be no Scottish News At Six. Probably.

The Richard And Judy Channel. So, if it has a similar name to 'Dave', maybe ... Dick? I really like Richard & Judy, actually - they are excellent at what they do, better than so many presenters. It's a real shame that they're being, or have chosen to become, more marginalised, first moving from ITV then going to digital. But maybe these divisions are already breaking down and that's old-fashioned thinking.

Big cuts at BBC3. Now, normally that would be a bad thing for anyone interested in telly. But ... can anyone honestly say that everything on BBC3 is working? There are too many inane comedies, too much laddish rubbish, too many lurid documentaries. Of course, they'll probably drop the good stuff like Pulling and keep the crap, but as long as they still do the series of Being Human it might not be too bad.

Spaced: the movie? Doubt it will really happen, but that would be great.

And just a theatre note: there is a play at this year's Edinburgh Fringe called Not Stalking David Tennant.

Tonight's Telly: 12/6/08

Margaret Thatcher: The Long Walk To Finchley, BBC4 9pm
Part of the slightly weird craze for turning the lives of recent politicians into Carry On style farces (see: Tony Blair, John Prescott, David Blunkett), here's The Thatch, in her pre-Milk Snatcher days. Andrea Riseborough, who's a great young actor, plays the young Margaret Roberts trying to get elected to Parliament. Slight smuttiness and not-that-funny in-jokes abound.

Come Dine With Me, Channel 4 8pm
Four people take turns hosting the others to dinner; one keeps burning the pavlovas and goes through about 18 eggs trying to get them right.

Check back tomorrow for review.

Tonight's Telly: 11/6/08

The Apprentice, BBC1 9pm
The final! Will SirAlan foolishly choose the fop Alex (he's 24, you know), or the boring Helene, or will it be best-of-a-hilarious-bunch Claire McBossyboots or Lee "That's what I'm talking about" McCVfibber? I was on Radio Scotland's Good Morning Scotland programme this morning talking about the final with former Apprentice candidate Karen Bremner (series two) who was pretty scathing about it having now turned into just another reality TV show. According to Karen, it's not really about business anymore, just personality clashes. Where I differ is that I don't think it ever really was - it's a business-themed gameshow: everyone knows that in the real world you wouldn't launch a company in a day, with no research or experience in the area, and expect instant profits. From a viewer's perspective, I think The Apprentice is great comedy, probably the funniest thing on telly at the moment, so that's fine by me. Karen is hoping that Lee will win, by the way.

Back To You, More 4 9.30pm
New sitcom which was not that well received in the US, but as it stars Kelsey Grammer who was such consistently good value in Frasier, it surely has to be worth a look. KG plays an arrogant newsreader feuding with his co-presenter and ex, Patricia Heaton. I'm sure no one on my own local news programme, Reporting Scotland, would recognise anything in that scenario at all.

Telly News: 11/6/08

I suspect the title of this new American TV show may have to be changed if it is ever shown over here ...

Unsurprisingly, audiences for Sky One have fallen by 14% since they fell out with Virgin Media, reports Broadcast. Think of all those Simpsons and Tru Calling repeats being missed.

Very interesting news that the next series of Heroes will be shown very swiftly after its first screening in the US. I hope this is the start of a trend of shortening the gaps between cross-Atlantic transmissions; in the online age, it's virtually impossible not to be spoiled otherwise and delays of months - even years with some programmes - are just asking for people to illegally download.

Last Night's Telly: 11/6/08 - A Woman Among Warlords/Reaper

A Woman Among Warlords, More4
Reaper, Channel 4

AFGHANISTAN, according to Gordon Brown, is an "emerging democracy". It's a rather imprecise term – emerging, surely, means half in, half out. Yet, judging by A Woman Among Warlords, it may not be that far off the mark. This documentary, by Danish director Eva Mulvad, shows what it's like to be balanced at that mid-point, teetering between two possibilities.

Malalai Joya came to international attention in 2003, when she astounded her country's Constitutional Assembly by standing up to denounce the "warlords" in their midst. She was thrown out for her trouble. This intervention opens the film, which then jumps forward two years and four assassination attempts to cover Joya's election campaign for Afghanistan's new government. It was the first election in which women were allowed to vote, let alone stand as candidates, and it produced the first directly elected parliament for 35 years.

To read the full review, click here:
The Scotsman.

Tonight's Telly: 10/6/08

True Stories: A Woman Among Warlords, More4 10pm
Impressive portrait of Malalai Joya, one of Afghanistan's first women MPs, a young and courageous fighter for peace and women's rights. Worth watching as a counter to the idiocies of some of the political discourse here.

Reaper, Channel 4 11.05pm
Terrestrial channel debut for the Kevin Smith-influenced comedy fantasy show about a geeky loser whose Satanic boss makes him slave away at hellishly endless tasks. And after he's finished in the DIY store, he has to do stuff for the Devil, too.

Check back tomorrow for the full reviews.

Telly News: 10/6/08

Courtney Cox's show Dirt has been cancelled. Oh well, I can't say I ever watched it - did I miss anything?

The BBC are to take over the Internet.

A peculiar report about a new ITV crime series. Strong women in peril? Is that just a way of dressing up the usual screaming victim stuff? Let's see.

Cheryl Cole of Girls Aloud is supposedly tipped to replace Sharon Osbourne on The X Factor. Meh.

Casting info for the remake of The Prisoner. A few years ago it was to be Christopher Eccleston in the McGoohan role; Caveziel is hardly a substitute. But either way, should it really be remade at all? The Portmeirion setting and the peculiar surrealism of the original are so much a part of it, without them it's just another paranoia story.

Save our TV reviewers! Yes, indeed! I agree with Gill Hudson's article and many of the comments posted. Even semi-serious newspapers would never drop their theatre or music critics, but the snobbish attitude persists that television is intrinsically a lesser art form which is only there for guilty pleasures. Quite a few reviewers seem to concentrate on automatically sneering or mocking everything they watch, which is ... I'll be polite and say, a strange attitude. My reviews, like all of them, are constrained by their length (two programmes from the previous night in 600 words) and by what's actually on (with preference given to the terrestrial channels), but within that, I do try to at least touch upon some critical analysis of the programmes' intent, form, style, all the elements that a theatre or literary review would automatically discuss. Simply recapping what was in the show - yes, I do it sometimes, obviously - isn't really enough. And there is quite a difference between a chatty blog and a considered review: both are valid and necessary, I think, but they shouldn't be the same.

Tonight's Telly: 9/6/08

The Victorian Sex Explorer, Channel 4 9pm
Rupert Everett has heaps of fun in this interesting documentary about Richard Burton, the British Empire officer who 'went native' in India, translated the Kama Sutra, acted out quite a lot of it, went in disguise on the Hajj to Mecca and got away with it ... then settled down. Everett is "a little bit in love" with him and his open-minded attitude to sex and sensuality, which so shocked (but titillated) his peers. In tribute, the louchest of actors gets his kit off a few times and even manages to flirt with some nuns.

Mary Queen Of Shops, BBC2 9pm
Infuriating start to the second series of this little shop makeover show, which features a horrible woman who runs a plus-size boutique but hates her customers. Retail expert Mary Portas tries to make her stop sneering at them and stock something other than sacks.

Last Night's Telly: 9/6/08 - Supernatural/South Bank Show

Supernatural, ITV2, Sunday
The South Bank Show: Sarah Waters, STV, Sunday

HAVING sat through a couple of very, very long episodes of Ghosthunting With Yvette Fielding and various minor celebrities (in a professional capacity, you understand), I've often hoped that the spirits they insist are around them would actually appear and go all Beetlejuice on their annoying gatecrashers. So, although the scary-eyelinered Fielding was not present, the return of Supernatural with a story about a similar ghost-bothering show being trapped in a haunted house was welcome.

Supernatural itself is a pleasantly formulaic show about two demon-fighting brothers, Sam and Dean Winchester, who travel America (but still run into the same people surprisingly often) investigating spooky goings-on, looking rugged and making quips. Pitched almost exactly halfway between The X Files and Scooby Doo, it's the kind of thing you can happily sit through without quite even being aware you're doing so.

To read the full review, click here:
The Scotsman.

Telly News: 9/6/08

As all right-thinking people know, Roadhouse is the very greatest movie ever* and thus all right-thinking people have been wishing Patrick Swayze the very best with his cancer troubles. Encouragingly, his new TV show is resuming production, so that sounds hopeful. The show itself features Swayze being a mentor to that blank-faced himbo from Tarzan (he thought he'd be bigger) so it will probably be rubbish, but who cares: it's Swayze.

New ITV stalking drama announced. Sounds like the usual ITV "X (Friend, Flatmate, Ex, Tenant) From Hell" stuff but David Morrissey is always good and, interestingly, it's scripted by Gwyneth Hughes, who recently wrote the completely excellent Miss Austen Regrets.

Thinks-it's-so-smart drug mom dramedy (ie, not that dramatic, not that comic) Weeds is moving town - desperation?

*which contains the line "A polar bear fell on me".

Tonight's Telly: 6/6/08

Peep Show, Channel 4 10.35pm
Last episode of this brilliant series - so soon! Mark's demented quest for 'The One' now lights on Dobby, she of the weird hair on which he would like to chew, while Jeremy goes strangely ... normal. Why not roast up some meat to eat while you watch?

America's Got Talent, ITV2 9pm
Like Britain's Got Talent, but without frozen-faced Amanda and with mental case Sharon Osbourne and David 'I don't know what I'm doing, but apparently if I make fun of myself, it's okay' Hasselhoff. Pretty awful, of course, but there's really nothing else on this evening. I suggest you pick up a DVD if you are staying in.

Telly News: 6/6/08

While I was away ... the beret-good Lucinda was fired from The Apprentice, the breakdancing boy and his little crumpled face won Britain's Got Talent, Jodie became Nancy, it was revealed that next year's Torchwood will be shown as a mini-series over five nights on BBC1, Big Brother began again (does anyone still care?) with a twist that a man has to pretend that his wife is a stranger and a stranger his wife, a Jonathan Creek one-off episode was announced, Kim Cattrall named as the Joanna Lumley character in a US remake of Sensitive Skin, Robert Justman, the veteran Star Trek producer who convinced Gene Roddenberry that Patrick Stewart should play Picard, died, Battlestar Galactica's Ron Moore was interviewed in Wired, the makers of the US version of Life On Mars seemed to realise it might be going to be rubbish ... and now, more news:

David Schwimmer is to direct parts of the US version of Little Britain.

Jimmy Smits to join the cast of Dexter. Not sure if this is a good idea - he can be a little stiff and corny.

E4's rather funny teen sitcom The Inbetweeners has been renewed for a second series.